Building Rapport

An article I found today says that in 2 weeks the South African Consumer Protection Act comes into effect. It says that:

Companies need to draft documents that:

• An ordinary consumer
• For whom the product is intended,
• With average literacy skills
• And minimal experience of the relevant goods or service
• Will be able to understand
• the first time they read it,
• without undue effort.

I don’t know if this is an accurate expression of the new legal requirement, but I hope not. I draw your attention to the last 2 bulleted items in my list above (that are combined with the the previous item in the article):

• the first time they read it,
• without undue effort.

As a writer, and occasional legal drafter, I think these criteria are unreasonable. It is unreasonable to demand that a business or legal document can be fully understood on a quick reading. Time should be taken for careful consideration. It is also unreasonable to use the phrase “undue effort” because:

1. the person who doesn’t grasp the meaning will presume they have made enough of an effort, and
2. consumers do not appreciate the amount of effort they should make to understand a legal, business document
3. the courts will struggle to decide whether the due effort was made.

I think the requirement should be that the person make a “reasonable effort” which is a term the courts are more likely to interpret the right way.

What do you think?

Too often, we are expected to go faster and faster for political reasons. Too many people think plain language change is quick and easy.

Plain Language in Organizations

To help people cope, Kate Harrison and I wrote Plain Language in Organizations: An Action Plan (ebook) but this plan addresses the plain language change in a single organization. The newest developments apply to an entire industry, a U.S. state, or a national government apparatus.

Delay: Country by country

Recently in South Africa, the plain language trainers, writers aountrynd editors had been rushing to satisfy clients who needed to comply with the approaching deadline set by their new Consumer Protection Act. And businesses spent millions over the 18-month advance period. The original date for effect has now been delayed from October this year to March 2011. Even after 18 months for preparation the government has not filled all the commission posts nor released regulations to guide compliance efforts.

Elizabeth Warren has been given the task of setting up the U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau by July 2011. Because hers is a temporary appointment, the Bureau won’t be able to publish regulations until a permanent director is approved by the U.S. Congress. Not a bad idea to take some time.

One U.S. government employee is quoted elsewhere saying:

Making plain language a requirement, rather than just a best practice, means agency web managers will be able to make a stronger case for allocating dollars towards content producers and writers… It isn’t easy to simplify some government content, so you need that expertise to be truly successful. Plain language would mean better service for citizens, which is what every federal web manager is striving to provide.

Changing the whole government’s style

Soon the U.S. President will sign the Plain Writing Act 2010 (almost certain since Obama was a sponsor of the previous bill). Another change process will begin as all government agencies scramble to comply. This legislation may run into problems with its deadlines also.

My friend and a plain language advocate, William Dubay , has commented elsewhere on this new Act:

Government interest in plain language began in the 1970s in response to consumer complaints. Most states at that time enacted laws that required plain language in agency regulations and insurance policies. Some of these laws have been very effective. Insurance commissioners regularly enforce the insurance requirements but most of the agency requirements are lacking enforcement and standards.

The message may be loud and clear on jargon, but weak and vague on standards, funding, and enforcement. Managers will be loathe to implement new demands for which no resources have been provided. Americans may be losing money because of poor writing practices, but good writing practices take training, method, and practice, which all cost money.

Clear definitions still to come

For all of these programs, one challenge is to decide what sort of efforts or results will satisfy the expectation of plain language. An agreeable definition is hard to come by. The international, non-government Plain Language Working Group of experts is still working on this too. Even agreement amongst plain language advocates is hard to reach.

Managing change

Dominique Joseph, a language analyst in Ottawa, has provided some links for support on managing change:

• Kotter’s 8-step change model: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newPPM_82.htm
• Website based on Kotter’s “Heart of Change” book: http://www.theheartofchange.com/
• Chip and Dan Heath (in their book “Switch”), also talk about the importance of using both “feeling” and “thinking” to create the motivation for change.
• A favorite story — Gloves on the boardoom table: http://www.theheartofchange.com/ It’s wonderful

Still, for a mere $15 Plain Language in Organizations is a good guide for use within a department or division of a larger entity.

picture credit: Cover image of a foundational text of the plain language movement, the 1966 Gobbledygook Has Gotta Go by Bureau of Land Management employee John O’Hara; via the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.

That prescription-drug info from the pharmacy can fall short

The LA Times has reported that the legally required type of medical information given out by pharmacies is not doing the job of communciating risk.

Researchers at the University of Florida found shortcomings in the written information for on “directions for use” and “comprehensibility/legibility”.

They wrote: “Many leaflets failed to meet the minimum requirements, such as provision of a complete list of absolute contraindications, and more than half lacked specific directions that would allow patients to manage problems. Because CMI [consumer medical information] was the sole written information dispensed, some patients had no information about the risk of lactic acidosis associated with metformin or related warning signs or action steps. The high reading level required to comprehend the presented information and the inadequate formatting suggest additional shortcomings.”

Drugstores are for ‘One-Document Solution’ for patient information

The National Association of Chain Drug Stores says pharmacy and consumer groups should collaborate with the government to develop a “one-document solution” for information provided to patients regarding prescription drugs.

NACDS submitted its letter in response to an August 9, 2010, article in the newspaper that was critical of such information. NACDS President and Chief Executive Officer Steven C. Anderson says:

“Pharmacy is working with the government to help provide enhanced user-friendly information to patients about their prescription drugs. The National Association of Chain Drug Stores submitted a Citizen Petition to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in June 2008. Seven additional organizations, including other pharmacy and consumer groups, joined in the petition.

“The petition requests FDA guidance describing the parameters for a voluntary, FDA-approved, concise, plain-language document for patients. Such a format could consolidate and replace the multiple written communications pharmacies must now distribute to patients.

“This ‘one-document solution’ could harmonize multiple documents that arise from different FDA-imposed legal requirements or information interpretations, and from different offices and constituencies within FDA.

The Los Angeles Times article is available by clicking here http://www.latimes.com/health/boostershots/la-heb-prescription-information-20100809,0,3840303,print.story

I want to hear from you: tell me what is right or wrong with this advertisement. This not a test. I am interested to hear from people with differing perspectives or focuses.

HST ad in daily newspaper

The Wall Street Journal report “The Informed Patient” starts with this unsurprising info:
“Informed consent may be the biggest misnomer in medicine: Studies show that most patients don’t read the forms they sign before undergoing surgery or medical treatment. More than half of those who do read the forms don’t understand them, and only a quarter of forms include all of the data patients need to make an informed decision.”

General Rules and Regulations
promulgated under the
Securities Exchange Act of 1934

Rule 13a-19 — Plain English Presentation of Specified Information

---

1. Any information included or incorporated by reference in a report filed under section 13(a) of the Act that is required to be disclosed pursuant to Item 402, 403, 404 or 407 of Regulation S-B or Item 402, 403, 404 or 407 of Regulation S-K must be presented in a clear, concise and understandable manner. You must prepare the disclosure using the following standards:
   1. Present information in clear, concise sections, paragraphs and sentences;

   2. Use short sentences;
   3. Use definite, concrete, everyday words;
   4. Use the active voice;
   5. Avoid multiple negatives;
   6. Use descriptive headings and subheadings;
   7. Use a tabular presentation or bullet lists for complex material, wherever possible;
   8. Avoid legal jargon and highly technical business and other terminology;
   9. Avoid frequent reliance on glossaries or defined terms as the primary means of explaining information. Define terms in a glossary or other section of the document only if the meaning is unclear from the context. Use a glossary only if it facilitates understanding of the disclosure; and
   10. In designing the presentation of the information you may include pictures, logos, charts, graphs and other design elements so long as the design is not misleading and the required information is clear. You are encouraged to use tables, schedules, charts and graphic illustrations that present relevant data in an understandable manner, so long as such presentations are consistent with applicable disclosure requirements and consistent with other information in the document. You must draw graphs and charts to scale. Any information you provide must not be misleading.

In drafting the disclosure to comply with this section, you should avoid the following:

1. Legalistic or overly complex presentations that make the substance of the disclosure difficult to understand;

2. Vague “boilerplate” explanations that are imprecise and readily subject to different interpretations;
3. Complex information copied directly from legal documents without any clear and concise explanation of the provision(s); and
4. Disclosure repeated in different sections of the document that increases the size of the document but does not enhance the quality of the information.

71 FR 53158, 53261, Sept. 8, 2006.

I had planned to blog about writing with clarity under the monthly campaign by Joanna Young at Confident Writing .

But when I started scanning items in my blog reader, I was reminded that today is Blog Action Day to save the environment.

My mind was working on the problem of relating writing with clarity, integrity, and authenticity to the environment, which was raising something about a post I saw which draws a distinction between the market and the audience for public relations writers.

When I got to Confident Writing, Joanna’s post is on the day’s topic. I only scanned her post, but she seems to suggest that business cut back on paper if we writers cut down the number of words we take to say anything, and thus reduce the number of trees cut down.

It is a great idea, but it triggered my main concern with all the other environmental posts I read this morning. They were all aimed at individuals while major corporations and legislators and government get a free ride today.

Now back to the post at All Book Marketing:

In book marketing you cater to a target market (people who will buy your book). In book publicity and author publicity you cater to a target audience (includes your target market, but you can have many target audiences in addition to them, like niche groups, specific members of the media, etc.).

After reading this, I was playing with how to extrapolate the distinction to use it in teaching writing process.

Now my head is in a twirl. We have these issues to pull together to try to get a blog post up today:

1. Save the environment.
2. Write with clarity, integrity, and authenticity.
3. Apply the distinction between market and audience to our problem.
4. What is the message?

So I took a nap.

I, Cheryl Stephens, say this with clarity from a place of integrity and authenticity and, with genuine respect for my brother and sister bloggers, I offer this message:

• The environment is our lives. We must defend our lives and the lives of those who follow us.
• All our personal efforts cannot match those that are needed to meet this challenge. Those who are the greatest polluters must be stopped. They cannot avoid the cost of correction by threatening us with the collapse of the economy.
• The collapse of any economy built on the monopoly capitalist/imperialist model to serve only the aim of maximizing profit,will collapse of its own sins eventually. We do not have to continue to suffer its sins; we must design the solution and plan the future.
• Let us act, whether we write, sing, dance, perform, picket, or march, to reach:
• the market
• to pressure legislators for laws to protect the environment rather than their favorite financiers and business cronies
• to demand that government enforce the laws to protect the environment from rapacious capital
• the audience
• the people whose interest is in saving the environment now for future generations
• the opinion-makers in the media and academia

• The message is that it is already too late to solve this problem by modifying lifestyles and private consumption.

Whew!